Dads: A Comparative Analysis

I was going to hold off on this blog until Father’s Day in June, but there are just too many juicy tidbits of fatherly goodness to compare with each other. Every father is unique in his own fathering style, even within his own children. Men, however, often share many of the same characteristics. I used to think this was more of an effect of “nurture,” or our surroundings. I figured American men liked beer because that is what their dads drank and so on. Recently I have come to discover that either all men across the globe have a lot in common or I just happened to get a host father that reminds me of my old man.

This idea first crossed my mind one day when we were watching TV in our living room back in October. My brother Aziz loves this show called “Stargate SG-1” which is a serialization of the mid-nineties movie “Stargate.” Anyway, we were watching the show and all of a sudden I heard a snort and then small lip-smack from my right. I turned my head and saw my host father (Ata, Kyrgyz for Dad) with his eyes closed and adjusting his posture in the chair to make sleeping more comfortable. I looked over at Aziz and he just laughed. He later told me that this was a regular occurrence and over the past few months I have learned as much.

This moment is important because, as anyone who knows my father knows, he routinely does the same. The snoring from Ata is a little more subdued (though just about anything is subdued compared to Dad’s chair-snoring). It struck me as amazing that two men, who grew up on opposite sides of the world, have the same television habits, namely sleeping. They both are big fans of trying to find movies on TV. Dad has the luxury of HBO and about 7 million channels. Ata has a son who gets up and changes the channel (yes, even me on occasion).

Is that it, though? Hardly. Both are pretty funny drunks, though I have to admit my comprehension of Ata goes down pretty fast if I’m drinking with him (drinking loosens the tongue, but clogs the ears). Both have insane cures for illness: Dad swears by cold bacon wrapped around the throat and drinking Vicks mixed with water; Ata is a fan of hot water mixed with jam and wrapping several layers of clothing around whatever hurts to keep it warm. Both pout just a little bit when they don’t get a small thing they want exactly how they want. The amount of puttering by these two men combined is probably longer than the twenty three and a half years I’ve been on this planet. They are both a solid 4 inches shorter than me and I’m pretty sure at least one of them kidnapped his wife.

But probably the thing they both have most in common is that they are both my dad. Though neither had much of a choice in what exactly they were getting for a son, they both are pretty protective and caring about me. That, or they are both really good at faking it. Yet another thing they have in common.