Me, the Older Brother

I had never been an older brother until I moved to Kyrgyzstan. Certainly, I had dealt with my share (believe me, one is enough), but I had never been in that “first among peers” position. I can’t say I ever wanted the extra attention and responsibility that comes along with being the elder, but now that I have attained it, I am enjoying it. In Kochkor, I have three younger brothers. I you include the younger brother and sister I have in my training village of Kenesh, I actually have 5 younger siblings. If you add up all those siblings, I have almost three and a half years of “older brothering” under my belt. With that in mind, I thought I would compare myself to the one older brother I know in a few select categories. Justin, I’m sorry.
1. Looks. I think we really know who wins here. Mom once summed it up nicely by saying, “Jonathan got the looks and Justin got born first.” Advantage: Jonathan
2. Smarts. They are really going to be disappointed when they find out I am not nearly as smart as they think I am. Right now, I think the younglings assume language is the reason I don’t seem so clever. Little do they know, it is my lack of cleverness that makes that so. Still…Advantage: Jonathan
3. Car. The “Fun Justy” that he had in high school is kinda like an ugly cousin: the family can make fun of it, but we will fight anyone who mentions a bad word about her. That and Peace Corps regulations don’t allow me to own or operate a motor vehicle. Advantage: Justin
4. Willingness to help. Well, I’m in the Peace Corps, so I think I win by default. He never flew half way around the world for me. Just saying. Advantage: Jonathan
5. Mastery of common language. This one I have to give to Justin. Though he did grow up during the 80’s, he has a pretty solid grip on English. Most of my conversations don’t get much past “Who farted?” with my brothers here. (“Kim usurdu?” in Kyrgyz, for those interested). Advantage: Justin
6. Willingness to read younger sibling’s blog. Though none of the youngsters here have blogs, I’m pretty sure I would go out of my way to read them if they had them, even with the poor internet accessibility. Justin’s younger brother has a blog and I’m pretty sure Justin doesn’t read it, hence the entire article devoted to making fun of him. Advantage(in more ways than one): Jonathan
7. Job. While in high school, Justin worked at fast food places. I really could not think of a better place for an older brother to work until he got the gig at the bowling alley. Currently, I work at a sowing cooperative that primarily makes carpets. Thrilling, I know. Advantage: Justin
8. Providing of nieces/nephews. Admittedly, I am behind the curve here, but just slightly. I could catch up by the end of service, but that probably wouldn’t be in anybody’s best interests. And Justin’s kids are fuckin’ awesome. I think that is really Sam’s fault, but I guess it gets at least partial credit. Advantage: Justin
9. Cool factor. Seriously, if you have ever met Justin, don’t even bother reading the rest of this segment. Even leaving that aside, I’m a freakin’ Peace Corps volunteer. That’s gotta put me pretty high on the cool list. Advantage: Jonathan
As you can see, it was a close race, but I squeak out a 5-4 victory. I’m sure the gap will widen as I gain more experience. He has a pretty substantial lead in that category, but it wasn’t enough here. By the way, if anybody wants to make fun of Justin, whether you know him or not, feel free to post things about him on the message board. Just don’t make fun of his mom. That wouldn’t be cool.